The Armchair Bookers Tackle Wrestlemania
It is nearly time for Wrestlemania Folks and we all know what that means don't we? Thats right folks, the armchair bookers come out in force. All across the IWC so called columnists are telling us how they'd book the event. On forums the smarks are telling everyone how this is the weakest looking Wrestlemania ever, yet they will still order it I am sure. The Internet has really taken alot away from "Sports Entertainment" but thats for another column. Today I'll join the armchair bookers.
This isn't about how'd I'd book the event. I am not a booker and don't know the first thing about booking a major wrestling event unlike most so called wrestling fans on the net who seem to think they could do a better job than anyone actually employed by WWE. If I was booking this show it would be Kurt Angle in a four hour Gauntlet match against the rest of the roster, whereby he would snap everyone's ankles. Anyway this is about what I think will happen not what I would like to happen.
The opening match will be a cruiserweight Match.
1) CW title match: Gregory "I was better off as the hurricane damnit!"Helms vs All the other CW in a battle royal or gauntlet type match. The E has shown they don't mind lumping all the cruisers in one match and I don't expect that to change. We wouldn't want to give the cruisers time to shine in a twenty minute singles match at Mania.
2)WTT Match: Kane "The Big red monster dentist" & Big Show Vs a thrown together tag team
3)IC title Match: Ric "I am too old for this shit" Flair vs Shelton "Momma's Boy" Benjamin
Lot of speculation about who Flair will wrestle. All I know is it won't be Hogan and it Won't be Steamboat. Current stories tend to be going toward this match up
4)Big Tooth Jackass Edge/w HOOO! Vs Mick "I make all dates except if they are in Australia" Foley..Rumoured match became a shore thing when Foley showed up on Raw last night.
5)The Backbreak Kid Shawn Michaels Vs Vince Mcmahon: in a loser leaves or retires or some such thing match. HBK wants a holiday but unlike Undertaker he just cannot disappear for no apparent reason and needs to be written out of the storylines.
6)Undertaker Vs "Bah Gawd" Mark Henry: At this point in the show you shudder and go have a toilet break and make some lunch
7)Womens title: Mickie James vs Trish. Logical really.
8)Interpromotional Money in the Bank ladder Match: Its mania you gotta have an inter promotional match and this gets six guys on the card, RVD vs Carlito vs Chris Masters vs Rey Mysterio vs Matt Hardy vs JBL. That looks horrible on paper but fucked if I kow who to put in the match, thats why i am not a booker
9)US title Match: Booker "I need to get rid of the five time crap but can't think of a new catchphrase"T vs Chris Benoit vs Orlando "I don't like men! Its a storyline"Jordan
10) Kurt "I won an Olympic medal with a broken freaken Neck"Angle Vs Dorkboy Randy Orton
This will be match of the night because Angle is the second coming of Christ. I shit you not.
11)HHH vs John Cena. I will resist commenting on this one because even though I have held my opinion on both of these guys for a long time I don't want to be seen as jumping on some sort of bandwagon type thingy.
I did no spell check on this because I am at work. So if there are errors and they upset you, well thats too bad
This isn't about how'd I'd book the event. I am not a booker and don't know the first thing about booking a major wrestling event unlike most so called wrestling fans on the net who seem to think they could do a better job than anyone actually employed by WWE. If I was booking this show it would be Kurt Angle in a four hour Gauntlet match against the rest of the roster, whereby he would snap everyone's ankles. Anyway this is about what I think will happen not what I would like to happen.
The opening match will be a cruiserweight Match.
1) CW title match: Gregory "I was better off as the hurricane damnit!"Helms vs All the other CW in a battle royal or gauntlet type match. The E has shown they don't mind lumping all the cruisers in one match and I don't expect that to change. We wouldn't want to give the cruisers time to shine in a twenty minute singles match at Mania.
2)WTT Match: Kane "The Big red monster dentist" & Big Show Vs a thrown together tag team
3)IC title Match: Ric "I am too old for this shit" Flair vs Shelton "Momma's Boy" Benjamin
Lot of speculation about who Flair will wrestle. All I know is it won't be Hogan and it Won't be Steamboat. Current stories tend to be going toward this match up
4)Big Tooth Jackass Edge/w HOOO! Vs Mick "I make all dates except if they are in Australia" Foley..Rumoured match became a shore thing when Foley showed up on Raw last night.
5)The Backbreak Kid Shawn Michaels Vs Vince Mcmahon: in a loser leaves or retires or some such thing match. HBK wants a holiday but unlike Undertaker he just cannot disappear for no apparent reason and needs to be written out of the storylines.
6)Undertaker Vs "Bah Gawd" Mark Henry: At this point in the show you shudder and go have a toilet break and make some lunch
7)Womens title: Mickie James vs Trish. Logical really.
8)Interpromotional Money in the Bank ladder Match: Its mania you gotta have an inter promotional match and this gets six guys on the card, RVD vs Carlito vs Chris Masters vs Rey Mysterio vs Matt Hardy vs JBL. That looks horrible on paper but fucked if I kow who to put in the match, thats why i am not a booker
9)US title Match: Booker "I need to get rid of the five time crap but can't think of a new catchphrase"T vs Chris Benoit vs Orlando "I don't like men! Its a storyline"Jordan
10) Kurt "I won an Olympic medal with a broken freaken Neck"Angle Vs Dorkboy Randy Orton
This will be match of the night because Angle is the second coming of Christ. I shit you not.
11)HHH vs John Cena. I will resist commenting on this one because even though I have held my opinion on both of these guys for a long time I don't want to be seen as jumping on some sort of bandwagon type thingy.
I did no spell check on this because I am at work. So if there are errors and they upset you, well thats too bad
posted by Darren at 9:13 PM
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