Thursday, March 18, 2010

A Pigs Life

A discussion about my time working in a piggery the other day has inspired me to-write this again and share it..

In 1990 in year 10 I sat the School Certificate English exam. The creative writing question had a picture of piglet from Winnie the Pooh hanging upside down from some contraption. Asked to write a piece inspired by said picture I wrote a poem entitled “A Pig’s Life” (I used to fancy myself as a poet and songwriter!) I can’t remember how that poem went but I remember the concept was how a pig’s sole existence is for the purpose of us eating it. I also recall the first and last line and they make the first and last sentence here.

In 2002 when I was actually working in a piggery and understood what a pig actually had done to it in the piggery I rewrote it again with some extra pain for the pig added.

By the way to answer two questions you may have. I got an A and yes I eat pork!

Enjoy.

A PIG’S LIFE

Dark and warm with the eternal drum beating and soothing. The drum beats faster.
Push! What was that? Push! Oh no! Push! I am being pushed. I try and resist, cant, Push! Push! I am sliding, sliding.

Light and cold. There is no drum. Frightening noise is everywhere. Then something wraps around me. It is pink like me. Then I am rising, rising. I see the pink thing that wrapped around me is attached to a massive pink thing which now looks at me with impossibly large eyes.

I realise that I am outside “the mother” and need to join the others near her warmth I wriggle. The big eyed thing does not let me go.

Pain! Oh the pain. My tail is gone. My ears are being cut. My longest teeth are crushed and broken off. I cry.

Then I am back down. I huddle with the others. I am driven to drink from “the mother”. I suck on her warmth and take it into myself. Then I sleep.

My tail hurts, my ears hurt, my teeth hurt. I drink. I sleep. I cry.

Later something in my mind tells me to explore, to dig to run and play. I try but there is nowhere to go. Hard tall things block every direction. I try and jump over but cannot. I sigh. I hurt. I drink and sleep.

The large eyed thing that is pink like me and smells like me but is not me comes again. I remember the pain and try and run but there is nowhere to hide. I squeal and squirm and try and bite, yet I am small. The long thin thing it holds pierces my neck. It is cold, more pain. I am released, I cower. I cry.

Nothing to do nowhere to go, eat and sleep, eat and sleep. There is no room to even play with my brothers and sisters. The big pink thing comes often but does not hurt me again. The light that comes and goes comes and goes.

Then one day when the light is shining the pink thing picks me up again. This time with two of those long gripping things he has instead of feet. He needs two for I am bigger now. I squirm. I kick. Not big enough. I am taken away.

I can smell “the mother”. I try and jump to get back to her. I can’t. I am with others but not the others who came from “the mother.” I am lonely.

Nothing to do and nowhere to play. I eat, I sleep, I cry.

Something else comes with the large eyed pink thing. It is the same shape but not pink. He is brown or yellow or something and his eyes are small. He points his long not feet things and the pink big eyed thing takes some of the others. They do not return. I wonder where they go. Do they get to play and dig and swim? I hope the not pink large eyed thing points at me.

The light that come and goes, comes and goes. I learn it is called the sun. I learn that the pink thing with big eyes is called a man. I learn many things in the weeks since I was taken from the mother. I also forget many things. This box this is my life. Once I had the chance to get out of the box but I stayed. I no longer want the other different coloured man to take me. I try and hide whenever he comes but off course there is nowhere to go.

Eventually the not pink man points at me. The pink man tries to grab me. I bite his fingers. I kick and squeal. I off course cannot run. Then I am out of the box. Then I am out in the light that comes and goes and is called the sun. It is bright. I am put in another box. Hey this is alright. It is smaller and smells different but it is okay. Then a strange rumbling happens and the box is moving. Moving and bouncing. I fall down often. I hurt my knees. I cry. I decide to lie down.

The sun is almost gone when the box stops moving. I get up. The funny coloured man opens our box. Some leave down a slope and into a hole. I don’t move. He hits me with a long stick. It hurts. I move into the hole.

I know straight away this is a terrible place. It smells of blood and death. I try and go back up the hole. I cannot turn around. I sit down. I am hit again. I run and then I am trapped. Something has hold of my neck. Something cold presses to my head. A noise……

Floating. I see my body below. I watch what the men do. I watch until the end. As I decide to leave I wonder. Is this what a pigs life is meant to be, on a butchers hook for all to see?

I cry.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

5 rants in one

1)Tony Abott’s maternity leave (vote grabbing) plan .

Interestingly my wife voiced opposition to this stating people should be able to plan and save for a child and the burden should not be on employers. Guess that’s why we are still childless eh?

This plan will never happen. It is just a grab for votes, don’t fall for it people. If Mr. Abbot was actually serious about this he would sit down with Mr Rudd and they could come up with a happy compromise and pass Mr Rudd’s plan through the senate unopposed which BTW is more economically responsible and less open to abuse.

Abuse? Well let me see. If my company makes $5.5 million a year I will now have to pay a 1.7% tax to pay maternal/paternal leave for employees of smaller companies. Guess I will be splitting my company in two then and that woman I was going to employ and pay 75k per year to, well she said in the interview she just got married and even though the single man I interviewed is not quite as good, he is not going to go have a baby and cost me a heap of money.

As for the just married woman she plans to leave the work force as soon as she qualifies for maternity leave so it was a good choice to hire the single man.

Another person who already qualifies has just had a baby and has no intention of returning to work, however they tell their boss they will return and basically rort the company out of six months pay.

2) Julia Gillard’s workplace reforms.

No one will be worse off? Really. Then please explain this. My rate of pay will drop, yes drop by $1.58 per hour from July 1st. Not only that but penalty rates for shift work dropped as well. From 30% down to 15% for night shift and from 15% down to 12.5%. I don't work shift work but some of my friends in the field do.

My boss is putting me up a pay grade to prevent the hourly rate drop but most wont. It would be nice to have a workplace agreement so we could just work it out amongst ourselves. Oh That’s right work choices was killed by the unions who are suspiciously quiet on this bullshit. I like you Gillard but you fucked this right up.

3) Lara Bingle

Maybe I am just a suspicious person but this whole photo thing bothers me. I mean Lara spends most of her time posing nearly naked and I am meant to believe this photo offends her and makes her feel all degraded. She is probably just upset she had no make up on and no airbrushing of tits was done.

Heres the thing Lara has done all the photo shoots she can do in FHM etc, work has dried up
Lara gets herself a new agent. Then a three year old, yep THREE YEAR OLD photo turns up in a magazine. Does anyone really believe Brendon Fevola sat on this photo for three fucking years! Would anyone even still have the phone the photo was on three years later. Come on people the photo was sent by the fucking agent. Am I the only one who can see this.

Now she is all over the paper, she made $200,000 off that photo being printed. Interest will now be renewed in her and she can do a fresh round of photo shoots. That agent Max is a genius!

4) Foxtel.

I like foxtel, had it for years. However they are running a scam. They promote their service as Digital yet only the IQ2 set top box and a few hard to get 480 series IQ1 have a digital video output.

The digital signal is also of poor quality. So shit digital signal in, crappy analogue signal out. My new HD tv really showed how shitty their picture is. I called foxtel and explained to them that I had a serious issue with that. I want an IQ2 and I don’t want to pay the $200 to get it. Best they could do was give it to me for $100. Not really good enough but in the face of NO COMPETITION what was I to do.

More people should complain about this and demand boxes with HDMI otherwise you are not getting the digital picture you are paying for.



5) Wankers who keep undersize fish and leave their mess behind.

If Sydney council bans fishing on all public wharfs and in parks because of you cunt’s I will kill you.